By Jo · 25 September 2026
I'm Jo. I'm English, in my 40s, and I film the sex I actually have with my partner. There's a lot of anal in my clips now, but for years there was none at all.
I wasn't always up for it. This is what changed for me and what my partner does that makes it good. If your partner says anal hurts, or she isn't keen, some of it might help.
How I started (please don't copy this bit)
When we first got together we didn't use condoms. After I'd come, I'd often let him finish in my bum so it wasn't in my pussy. That was our idea of contraception.
Don't do that. It isn't reliable, and if you really don't want a baby it's a terrible plan.
It was alright. He always went slowly and never lasted long, so he was inside me, but I wouldn't call it proper anal sex. After about six months we stopped, and then we didn't do anal at all for years.
What changed
A man booked me for a paid private cam show and asked for anal. I thought, sure, why not. I was a bit nervous but up for trying something new, and that was my first proper anal sex.
She has to be horny first
This is the big one. Anal is rubbish when I'm not horny. If I can't be arsed (no pun intended), I'd rather offer him my pussy, and sometimes that gets me in the mood. Anal never does. For me it's a kink, so I have to be turned on before it's any good. Get her going first and save the anal for after.
Go slower than you think you should
My partner was always slow and gentle, and he did what I told him. When I said stop, he stopped. When I said slower, or asked him to change the angle, he did that too. That's most of it, really.
Getting the angle right isn't easy. It took him a while and he's much better at it now, so expect a few goes and let her tell you what's working. Once I'm warmed up he can speed up.
The easiest position for first-time anal
Spooning with her in charge is the easiest way I've found. You both lie on your sides with you behind her, and she does all the moving. She decides how far and how fast, and she can stop whenever she wants.
Fingers first
At the start I always needed stretching with fingers first. I need it less now, but I still like it as foreplay.
What lube to use
Water-based, always, for me, and ideally one made for anal. Anal lube is thicker, so it lasts longer. Normal water-based lube works too, but it dries out quicker and you'll be topping it up more.
Why does anal hurt her?
I can only speak for myself, but for me it hurts when:
- he goes fast too early (fast is fine once I'm warmed up, just not straight away)
- the angle's wrong
- he isn't fully hard (no idea why, but it does)
If it keeps hurting, or there's any bleeding, she should see a doctor or go to a sexual health clinic. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a woman who does a lot of it.
Going from anal back to her pussy
Only if your cock is clean first. Even then there's no guarantee she won't get a UTI (a urine infection), so I always have a wee afterwards and clean up in the shower, just in case. A wee after any vaginal sex is a good habit anyway.
The bit nobody mentions
A lot of men don't realise anal can get messy if she hasn't prepped first. Nobody talks about it because it isn't sexy, but it's normal, and it helps if you both know that before it happens.
What it's like for me now
It feels naughty, and I like that. It feels good inside too. I don't usually come from anal on its own, so I use my vibrator at the same time. And I just love being kinky.
My partner and I film all of this for real, with no script and no acting. If you want to see a woman who actually enjoys it, my clips are here.